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Relationships are hard, especially at this age. A relationship with someone in the military adds an even harder layer to work through.
Being involved with someone in the military, whether a family member or significant other can be difficult, but a little faith can go a long way. From the outside looking in, you may never know what a relationship is going through. The ups and downs, the trials and tribulations, the most important thing is surviving. Below I have featured Chelsea and Tori, giving their take on life with a significant other in the military. Though everyone experiences something different, the love and stress of it is all the same. Be sure to say a prayer for all those currently deployed.
Chelsea
I am 22 years old. I was born, raised and still currently live (I plan to move, don't worry) in Greenville, NC. I am a full time students studying nutrition at East Carolina University. I am a part time personal trainer with somewhere between 20 and 30 clients. I occasionally work the front desk at a gym. Starting next week, I will begin working as an ambassador for a supplement company.
How did you and your significant other meet?
At my very first job, Chick-fil-a. I was a cashier and he worked in the kitchen.
How long have you all been together?
We've been dating for four years.
What's your significant others branch/role in the military?
He is in the army working as the person who supplies petroleum.
What responsibilities do you all share?
We have never lived together and don't have any kids. But if one of us is in need of anything, then the other will do what they can to help out. Even if we are on different continents.
Has your significant other been on any extended orders/deployments?
He just got back from a nine month deployment in Kosovo, near Albania.
What's the hardest part about being with someone in the military?
The hardest part about it has actually become the best part-- feeling alone. At first that was hard for the obvious reason (and in the romantic way it will never get easier), but I have learned that I can be on my own. I learned that I can make myself happy. Feeling alone forced me to become more social and more confident in myself. I don't need him to make me happy-- I want him to-- and I think that aspect makes our relationship healthier.
Where do you see you all's future in regards to being a couple experiencing a military lifestyle?
I am honestly not sure. I am still in college and plan on going to grad school right after. I plan on going to whatever grad school I get into so the location might not be near him. I'm sure we could handle more time being long distance.
My favorite memory was seeing him for the first time after basic training. The wait was well worth it!
Tori
I am 25, I am from North Carolina but currently reside in Texas. I work with children, specifically military kids.
How did you and your significant other meet?
My husband and I met through mutual friends in College at Winston-Salem State University, his last semester of graduating and my last semester of my junior year. I like to say that we met at perfect timing. If we had not been introduced at the time we would not be married today.
How long have you all been together?
We have been together for 4 years and married for a year & a half.
What's your significant others branch/role in the military?
My significant other is in the Army and his role is an officer.
What responsibilities do you all share?
We live in a house on the military base and living on post is the best decision we ever made. It's close to everything, nice and quiet and we have lots of space. I have a 5 year old stepson but we do not have kids together just yet. We do plan on having children in our near future. A day in my life is how I make it. I have my ups and downs and life does get tough but I try to make the best of it. Being a military spouse is hard in itself and a lot of people do not understand what is required of it and what it takes, but it is challenging and bittersweet.
Has your significant other been on any extended orders/deployments?
This is the first deployment that we have been through and it is challenging.
What's the hardest part about being with someone in the military?
The hardest part about being with someone in the military is that you have to always 1000% be understanding. The job that they are doing to fight for our country is very demanding. You have to have really thick skin and be tough for your spouse. It's not always about you and your feelings because they have a job to do. It's not always negative but it does have it's great moments. You get holidays together, three/four day weekends, time to vacation and spend as a family. You do have to have a job that is understanding that they do change times and dates for things so if you're taking off for something pertaining to your spouse, you can never be too sure about it because things do change. It's the lifestyle and not everyone can handle it but only the strong survive lol.
Where do you see you all's future in regards to being a couple experiencing a military lifestyle?
Where I see our future in regards to being a couple experiencing a military lifestyle is hard to say. As he moves up in rank it will get tougher and even more demanding. I'm a very supportive wife and I will stick by my husband ever step of the way and it's what we make it honestly. Who knows how things will actually be because who knows when we will have children and how easy or hard that will make it. I do hear that it gets harder when kids are involved because they go through things as well and may not know how to take their parent being away or having to be gone for months or a year at a time. I do know that you have to be strong for them and for your spouse as well. The wife is backbone and they say that they are the strongest ones for their family including their soldiers.
While my husband is away, I do get a little sad and shed a few tears here and there but then that tough mentality comes in. I have to be tough for not only myself but my husband as well. No one really knows what we as military spouses go through and what it requires but it is a very hard job. If I could give as much advice to many other spouses I would just let them know that they are not alone and it will be okay. It can be overwhelming and stressful but we have to take it day by day. There are many other women and men who go through it as well and if we just remember why we are doing it and who we are doing it for, then we can take the sad moments and reflect on the good times we have. I always let my soldier know how much I appreciate him and truly do love him. If it wasn't for him joining the military I wouldn't have had a chance to travel the world, experience a new culture, meet new and amazing people who can relate to us, and have access to the military world. It's so amazing how many benefits there are being a spouse and different duty stations to travel to and experience living at. I would not trade it for the world and as long as my spouse is putting his life on the line for our country and safety, I will do the same as well. With his loyalty and respect for this country I appreciate and love him 1000x more